Saturday, May 29, 2010


Could I be any more excited about my life right now? NO.
I thought that life couldn't get any better, welll.. shockingly it can. Life has been nothing but one smile after the next, no complaining here.
I saw Sex and the City 2 yesterday, and let me tell you I thought I was OBSESSED with it before. I am now even more obsessed. Let's just say I finally came to the realization that I am Charlotte. To a TEE, but I can't complain, she's adorable. I would like the attitude of Samantha.. but hopefully I can gain that over time. The fashion in this movie is INSANE. I am not a heel girl, but after seeing this movie. I am OBSESSED with heels. I want so many, don't worry I bought a new pair of black heels today. They are adorable !! I want all of Carrie's clothes in the movie... she's so chic I LOVE IT.

As far as being obsessed with fashion even more than usual. Let's be real I want to stand out from the crowd.
Summer school is OVER. Brandi, Paige, and I are going to DISNEY tomorrow. HAPPIEST place on EARTH !!

Then the backstreet boys concert is on Tuesday night. Let's talk about a fun filled week. And it's my official week of SUMMER. How more exciting could this be?

Oh, and I started my diet. Grilled chicken and fruit and yogurt parfaits are my life. Also running the lake. Ya know. Love feeling good about my body.

It's storming right now and I'm about to paint my nails... black? nah... not feeling emo. I'm feeling HAPPY :)

untilll... next time !

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

no shame.

So I don't know when it became okay for gross older men to be well insanely disgusting and vulgar. I work at a sports bar so I mean of course there is an occasional drunk or two saying something that you blow off. Well NOT TODAY. this man took it to a different level. He's a regular... who well by the sounds of the arguments him and his "woman" have he's pretty much a 67 year old p-i-m-p, if you will. He has two women living with him, and he gets whatever he wants from the both of them. So today I'm taking a order you know minding my business, and I feel the stare. You know the kinda stare like someone is seriously checking you out, and who might you guess it is. YEAUP, captain himself. (He was in the navy or what not for however many years, this is how we distinguish him from the rest of the regulars) it's all in the name. Once you have a nick name on the tab, you're semi legit. Sometimes I make fun ones like little head, weird ears, or something boring like what they are wearing. If they make me mad I'll call them other things, but I try not to. Anyway back on track. So he is legit staring. I walk behind the bar and he looks at me and goes, "you have nice legs... you know your feet are down on one end and on the other end well you knowww.." and chuckles. Uhmmm.. excuse me while I just threw up in my mouth. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Who is their right mind says that. And his lady friend just looks at me and goes he's crazy. My mouth was dropped the entire time. Like for real. That did not just come out of his mouth. Scarred for life. Men disgust me. EVERY man, boy, guy whatever they are all disgusting in my eyes.

Summer school is moving right a long... sitting in a class for three hours is kind of a buzz kill. My teacher is way too up beat for me, and I'm up beat... so that takes her to a whole other level. Maybe it's the fact that I roll out of bed in my pajamas literally and get on to class. Where there are don't worry seven students. I can't do a thing in this class. Don't worry I get caught. I was texting today, and the teach calls me out. "Cierra who you talking to ?" Me I of course say, "NO ONE." But then continue to tell her it was my mom... lie? no. It was my mom. So in your face teach, chuckle one more time.

I finished my Carrie Diaries. The girl from sex and the city. They made a book before Carrie went to New York. I have to say, its phenomenal. I can't wait for the movie to come out and to see all the fashionnnn. So exciteddd. And shrek comes out this weekend. Wow, I quote that movie like its my j-o-b. "and in the morning i'm making wafffflesss." Let's be real donkey is a number one fav.

So work and school consume my life, but don't worry I occupy my time with a lot of other stuff. I am enjoying my summer to the fullest you better believe it. Never a dull moment in my life... trust me. When you think it's over your phone lights up... and could it, was it, himmmm?

Another story for another time...
until next time :)

Monday, May 17, 2010

one step at a time..

today was a good day. this picture is my mood to life right now. like get out ma face ;) HA !
i realized that time does heal all things.
i realized what i deserve.
i realized a lot.
my stomach feels better. THANK GAH!
i bought an adorable betsey bracelet today. ha, shallow but it made me smile.
and some girl called me a DOLL. she said my look and clothes were unique. heck yes. i'll take it for what it's worth.

i actually went to forever 21 and didnt buy a thing. shocking, yes.
i did buy a new dress at jcrew.
i am currently in the process of learning to save my money. i want to visit rexburg. and i al ready have a trip planned to vegasss. VEGASSSS. it's going to be a good summer. i can't wait to see what God has in store for my life.
people are brought in and out of my life everyday. three words...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

all i need is a hair cut, and STAT. i haven't decided what i am going to do. butttt a dramatic a line. uhuhhh. and a new outfit. i'm working on the outfit now. going shopping now :)


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

just hits you.

So, they say it just hits you. Like a ton of bricks. A box of rocks. Anything. You just wake up one day, and you take back control of YOUR life. The life he "thought" or you at least you thought he robbed you of. Wrong, you are a woman. All you need is yourself, and maybe a cute outfit and some friends. Which of course I have completely under control. But it's my life. I'm in control. Technically I didn't have this epiphany while I arose at 7 or 8 in the morning. I was simply driving home listening to Bullet Proof, and it HIT ME like a ton of bricks. WHAT ARE YOU DOING CIERRA? This isn't you. Take your life back. Get YOU BACK. Not the fake you forcing a smile but YOU. So my stomach may be in knots and it make take me a few days maybe a week. But I am in the drivers seat now. I realized I don't need you, and I will not allow you to continue to have control of my life.
So Cierra's plan now. Since I do tend to refer to myself in the third person, because it makes me sound more legit.

Get my life back (CHECK)
Get a hair cut (Because after a break up what better than to cut the hair)
Get a new outfit (or a couple, because looking good and holding my head high is what it's all about)

and when I do happen to see you again, I'll act as if I didn't know you... Oh, wait I never knew you.
Change is good... and change happens everyday. But I'm back in control of MY LIFE.

uhuh :)

Good Men?

Well I got back to florida sunday night. Paige and Brandi picked me up at the airport. back to life, back to reality. OR a really somber alone reality. See it's summer here at school which means it's DEAD. NO ONE is here. So I find myself occupying my time with of course my own summer classes I decided to take since I have transfered once and back. My life it's complicating. I went to Idaho because I wanted something different. Not per say for "Christopher" although those speculated. Christopher wasn't even in Idaho at the time. I was wrapped up, and I went. And I am ever so thankful because I grew so much, and met some incredible people in which I still keep in contact with. But when my life threw me for a curve ball and Christopher came home, I screwed up and went back to him regardless of what my heart was telling me. Is it that I was just thinking Mr.Right Now? Or was I missing the fact that I had clearly fallen in love with my best friend, Pace Simpson. For whatever reason I broke Pace's heart. And now for that reason I am beginning to believe in TRUE karma.
I did everything in my power to win him back, and I thought I had. But maybe when a heart breaks it doesn't truly heal. Maybe the best thing for us to have done was to never go back. It was never possible. There are literally a hundred what if's going through my head right now. The rooms spinning, and its day two without food. My stomach has gotten used to the idea of not eating, and my body has gotten used to the idea of waking up every hour on the hour for which I get no sort of sleep possible. If you could take something back could you? If I could what would I have done differently. Treated Pace differently not taken him for granted the last three years. He was my best friend though, my go to guy. I didn't see it like that until he came to Virginia to visit. I fell in love, I'm still in love. I guess that would explain the whole sick to my stomach don't care about life, love or anything kind of attitude I have right now. Maybe I fell in love to late. Maybe I was too late. Maybe this was his plan all along get back with her and tear her apart just like I had done to him. For whatever reason it's over.. and for whatever reason I'm left here alone.. contemplating life without him. I never thought there could be life without him. But I'm 21 right? Life goes on. The world spins madly on, no matter if I want to stop it or not. I can't change it and I can't get him back. There is no answer. There is only time. Time, to heal my heart... time to discover myself again. TIME. In the meantime of the heartache I read to distract my mind, and I run to distract my mind EVEN more. I have school and myself to worry about. I just got to get through the summer. Someone out there is gonna love me for me and all of me. At least I hope so...

Where have all the good men gone?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

virginia is for lovers.

well... on the spur of the moment trip. i am home. in virginia. good ol rich what? richmonddd. it feels like i never left. or quite honestly it doesn't feel like my home anymore. everything has changed. butttt. its still my room, still my family, and still my home in my hearttt.

as soon as i saw my mom i got choked up. she is beautiful inside and out. and it has been FOUR months toooo long since i have seen her. so i got in last night, but first in atlanta i SWEAR i saw little wayne.. little did i know he is in jail? okay so either a way sweet look a like OR he's twin brother that he knew nothing about. it's fine they'll meet on maury and become close once he's out of jail, obviously. so as i'm sitting in atlanta, downing some yogurt mixed in with oreo type thing (fat a, anyone?) some random guy came up and tried having "small talk" with me... give me a break. it aint happening. and i was kind of may i say it 'rude' then he proceeds to ask me if i want to grab a drink... uh? in your dreams rang a bell in my head, but i politely said no. little did i know he would be sitting two rows in front of me the entire hour and half flight home. no big deal right? yea your right.. L.A. Candy kept me company... i'm zipping right through the book. i'm obsessed... i'm so glad i finally took up reading. it gets my mind off EVERYTHING.

so today was a mommy and cierra day. it was perfect. laying by the pool... rt 44 sonic drink. you have NO idea how much i have missed sonic. however i could go back to the days where i paid for nothing at sonic. i was an employee, let's talk about a good time in rexburg idahooo. ha, wrongggg.

so then we got ready... after being oh so sunkissed and proceeded to go shopping. to end the day. i got some cute things, of courseee. and enjoyed just being with my mommm. it was perfectttt. tonight the family is cooking tacos. mmmmMmm... i'm semi excited. food is my life. and don't worry, and don't judge i am currently drinking my second cherry limeade of the day. gosh, i'm obsessed.

va is for lovers... i have til sunday to prove that ;)

Sunday, May 2, 2010


well... seu graduation was yesterday. and by far the worst graduation i have been to. my high school graduation was better, it had me teary eyed. this was a JOKE. you think some high class big buck school would have found a better speaker, better yet at least had a senior speak at their own graduation. it consisted on telling about the buildings seu was putting in AFTER the fact that the seniors leave, good good. not only that it talked about the forum, and then i heard a personal life story from two RANDOM people that are not faculty better yet anything to with our school. pure, JOKE. i'm hoping they wise up for me in about a year and a halffff.

so it's blazing hot morning of graduation. we drive my car, which seems like a good idea at the time. NOPE. it wasn't. it's 95 degrees, and me and melissa are sweating on every inch and crevice of our bodies on the way to graduation. there is no wind, no gust no nothinggg. i thought melissa was going to kill me, but she was a trooper in all black may i add ! so we finally get to graduation. and we walk in and there he is the graduation song and him just walking cap and gown smiling ear to ear. i grab melissa knowing that i can't do this. i physically and emotionally can't do this. but she grabs me and we sit with his family. i pull myself together, for the most part. but every INCH of me wants to get up and leave. did i also mention i'm not a heel wearer. i HATE, no LOATHE heels. i'm not that girl. give me flops and vans any day. so i rocked some heels grad day, and don't worry i have two massive blisters on my feet. the things I DO to look good. sucha girlll. graduation ends, and well let's just say by the time it's over i'm sobbing in the parking lot by a tree ALONE. with my shoes in hand and blisters bleeding. melissa gets the car picks me up, and we head to abuelos. i'll let you imagine what possibly could have happened in between all that madness.
the end.

I GOT A FLIGHT home. i leave wednesday, and i couldn't be more excited. you can say i'm running away, but to me i'm giving myself time. time to think, to be home, in my bedddd. just be home with my family until the craziness of summer school and working picks up again. i need cierra time. and cierra and mommy TIME, of courseee.

the pic above was my life TODAY. pool styles w/missy :) i will miss days like this with her. better yet I WILL JUST MISS HER. she has seriously been the BEST friend through all of this, i couldn't ask for anything better. it's a ritual we get mcdonalds and lay outtttt. who the heck will i do that with ALL summer. uhhhh. but soon i'll be home... but then i'll be BACKKK. but only time will tell... this life is a crazy one, as you know. at least well MY LIFE is a crazy one, i'm still figuring it out.