Friday, July 30, 2010

late thoughts

I sit here currently staring at my phone... wondering why it hasn't rang. So I made it easy on myself and cut it off. It's been three days. What happened? What did I do? Do I actually deserve this again?
Guys are funny, shutting down when you need them most.
I believe you, I said I believed you... and I said I would still be here... and you have chosen to run. To where? To her? To someone new? Something exciting and less drama.
It will catch up to you.. give it time. Things aren't perfect forever. It's life.. and you work through it. I was ready to work through it with you. I was ready to put it behind me. I was I was. You know I am hearing a lot of I in this situation and not enough "you." That's right because you haven't been present, and you probably won't be. You haven't been the one fighting. You haven't been the one crying yourself to sleep... waking up 13 pounds lighter and looking at yourself in the mirror questioning where did you lose yourself. No that wasn't you... and it hasn't been you.

So if you love something you set it free? If it comes back it's yours to keep. If not, then it wasn't meant to be.
I want to believe the first part... I'm just waiting for you to prove it.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Saturday, July 17, 2010

one girls trash...

is another girls treasure....

That could not be anymore than true. You know that stuff that you hold onto just "because." For that rainy day, for that one outfit, for that time you 'think' you will need it. Well I know longer own any of those things. I admit I have clothes that could probably be given to an entire army, something I am not necessarily proud of.. but I am a semi-shopaholic. So I cleaned my entire room out, it's spotless. My closet... empty. My drawers... empty. So twenty trash bags and ten bins later... I had a LEGIT clean room. Now I just have the necessities. The essentials. At least that my room needs for right now. I am only here what two months out of the year... why hold onto those things !
So I had myself a little yard sale... little... okay HUGE.
I didn't even argue with people, oh a dollar, oh two.. oh just take it. Like I want it gone !
So after dealing with the families of mexicans and the crazy deal grandma's I finally came to a grand total of $400. Oh hiii... 400, like are you kidding. Insane. I sold a bunch of junk for that.. it's kind of comical to me.

So literally one girls trash.. is another's treasure. Legit statement.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Why am I holding on.
When did I allow it to get this far.

I've lost Cierra, I've lost myself...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Okay.. so everyone pretty much says "I'm destined for bigger, better things." You know the kind of talk you usually here from a high school senior who is 18 and just ready to leave the town they came from. Well, this is not necessarily the case for me. True, I was that 18 year old abercrombie and fitch wearing girl that wanted more out of life than what the town I had grown up in offered. It's not like I'm one of those that thought I was going to be famous, I just wanted a life outside of Richmond, but that I could always come back and call this place 'HOME'. I did it. No matter what anyone said, I got away from here.. and the passed three years have grown up. Grown up into someone that I actually love. Because at the end of the day you have to love yourself or who else will? I went to two different colleges the past three years.. knowing not ONE soul at either. I like being put in those situations. It taught me a lot about myself, and it allowed me to seek out what I wanted and who I wanted in my life. It's been a crazy three years... but I wouldn't change a second of it...
I get to thinking about my life from time to time.. actually who am I kidding.. ALL THE TIME. You see I graduate in a year and a half. Yea, It should be a year but who really is counting. Transfer credits will get you every time. Except... with one more year I can do the rest of my classes online and then be done. I have options, I can MOVE again ! But where... and when AAAahhhh I think about it daily. There are so many things running through my mind. My mind is towards the west for sure... but you know I think I'm done making plans... I like the whole mystery of not knowing and just going with the flow. It's a lot more fun that way...

but I'll keep you posted if I just hop off and leave one day ;)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Fourth OF Jaaa LLYYYY :)

The Richmond Squirrels Game for Fourth of July !
With my Family... was awesome. It was my first official night home, and I have not been home in six months.. so for me it was kind of a big deal. We all went to the game.. and it was extremely hot, but it started to cool down as it got later. I thought the game was never going to end. I was just so ready for the fireworks. Daddy bought me a hot dog... which is strictly what a true American should eat on Fourth of July. When I think of Fourth of July I think of hot dogs, fireworks, baseball.. and of COURSE freedom. Honestly, how lucky are we to live in the country that we do. I am so thankful and blessed everyday to say my colors are the RED WHITE & BLUE ! True American pride.. for sure. The game ended and we won ! The fireworks were awesome... I loved every second of it.
The exciting part if that my dad still has a box of fireworks we need to crack open... sparklers I must say are my favorite so I am hoping somewhere in that box is a nice little gift for me.. sparkler styles :) This Fourth of July was perfect... being back home and with my family is incredible. I better enjoy it while I can... two months and I'll be back to the sunshine state... time flies. That's for sure..

Happy Fourth :)


So I finally had my trip with my best friends to VEGAS!
It was beyond incredible. There were enough memories during that one week to last me an entire lifetime. I got maybe close to six hours of sleep the entire week, ate almost close to nothing... and still somehow managed to take not 100, not even 300... but 840 pictures to remember each second (literally) of the entire trip.

The flight out there was alright. I read my latest book, Chelsea Handler. The book is about how she went through a horrible break up and then proceeded to have all these one night stands. It is hilarious to say the least... it kept me entertained for the most part on the way there. We of course bumped into a three hour time difference which had our mental clocks all jacked up by the time we got to VEGAS, but we were ready. We hoped off the plane, checked into New York New York and hit the club scene. With our first stop being Coyote Ugly. My guess upon entering was... it's going to be just like the movie !! Wrong... I don't know where they found these girls but pretty was not in their definition for sure. I mean that sounds rude, yea... okay it does... I'm sorry. But I guess the movie just hyped up my expectations.. and I took it out on them. Poor choice. The rest of the night consisted of hanging out and having a blast.. until five oclock in the morning. PERFECT.

The following day was full of site seeing. I was obsessed. Everything was intriguing to me, and I wanted a picture with every corner of the strip. The plus side to the west coast is NO HUMIDITY. If I could just move there for that luxury... well then I would be set. This hair does not do well with the humidity that Florida and Virginia provide it with. Anyway... so Vegas is known for there Buffets. So OF COURSE. That was the plan for lunch, at Caesar's Palace. Where I managed to consume... 50 peeled shrimp... along with the entire dessert area... and of course watermelon and cantaloupe; I could eat that stuff for days. It was incredible, and I enjoyed every second of it... my belly popped out with the biggest food baby after that one. That night we got dolled up and hit the strip... and of course took more pictures. That night was pretty low key, but still a ball.

The following day was the Cabana day. We got a Cabana for the entire day... where we got food, drinks, and just all that your little heart could ever imagine. It was like our own personal mini beach... it was insane. We relaxed in the wave pool and the lazy river. The day was incredible. Had to have been my favorite day by far....

Of course, that is just a touch of what happened in Vegas... but as the saying goes 'What happens in Vegas.. well STAYS..' so a smidge of the fun is just what you are getting....

hehe :)