Friday, October 15, 2010

This semester has been nothing but amazing. This past weekend we celebrated fall as best as we could. Florida has been tempting us with cooler weather and colder winds. Pumpkin Carving, pizza, and friends was literally all us five girls needed to have a good time. I have met the most amazing people in my life, and ironically we are all going through similar situations in life. It's funny how God places people in your life... for a reason. My friends have all been a blessing to me; whether their here... or Virginia, Idaho, Texas, or Utah. My friends are my life... and literally make me a better person. A happier person :)
This semester has seriously been a blessing in disguise. I've never been happier. Never been more free, more care free, more me. Back to me. I am so happy. And I mean it. We ended up going to Celebration on Saturday. Celebration is this place in Orlando; city or something that is exactly like the Step Ford Wives movie. Literally! The place is adorable. They had vendors everywhere selling anything you could imagine for the month of October. There was a live little band playing oldies, carriage rides... pretty much the works. Then the leaves fell. of course all of us made our way to the front. Past the little kids where the little paper cut out leaves shot out at us. It was honestly so much fun! I felt like a little kid again, even though I was ten feet taller than all the little kids behind me. To end the most perfect night we went to Krispy Kreme. Where the HOT sign was on! They literally melt in your mouth; and if you have not had a Krispy Kreme HOT donut... you do NOT know what you are missing. It is literally heaven in your mouth... delish.
Fake paper leaves. Adorable right?

As good as it gets in the Sunshine State!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Change can be defined as making something different, or a transformation.
CHANGE. Such a big deal, big word, big step... c.h.a.n.g.e.
A person can say they've change or that they have changed. But what makes it believable.
Actions speak louder than words.
What made you change, why do you want to change, if this never happened would you have changed?
Don't change for me, change for yourself. Change for the better.
Change for your happiness and no one else's. Change is scary, and new.
Do you think you're up for the challenge, do you think you can change. It takes time.
It all takes time. Time is all we got. But maybe it's too late.. and there is no more time.
What then? What to do? Will you still change?

Whatever you do, do it for you... and for God... and your happiness.
Time will tell... but I am happy. Content and happy.
God is good every day. Showing his glory to me more and more every day.

Love. Happiness. Truth. I will find it... one day, it's out there.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Life has been going amazing.
I have never been so happy in my life. I can't stop smiling, and it is a real pure smile.
A lot of different things have been happening in my life, and I am loving every second of it.
The weather in Florida has been perfect. I really have been missing Virginia like crazy.
I want the fall leaves and cold weather. The wind has been absolutely amazing. I've been rockin' the long sleeves, socks, and skirts. LOVEit :)
I love that the weather is changing.
Fall, Fall, Fall... leaves, pumpkins, just everything.

This weekend will be perfect.
I am so happy, and so blessed for everything in my life.
Everything has changed and I love it.
I could never be this happy. I have gotten to this point and I am never going back.
Meditating, scripture, and music have kept me sane.
Three powerful things.
Three important things in life.

Oh, and I got a j-o-b.
I'll be making the lovely people of Lakeland's burritos at Chipotle... let's be serious it's kinda cute.
HA :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

You know that moment. When everything falls into place.
Where you aren't just having one of those days, but everything starts to make sense.

Today was one of those days.
Last night I slept. Through the entire night. No irruptions. Pure bliss.
It's as if my mind is clear, or blank.. or just a clean slate. New beginning. 
I have no worries for once in my life and that in itself is a blessing.

I go to a kindergarten class on Mondays, where the children are coming from deprived and broken families. It breaks my heart, but it makes me love these children even more. Today, this little boy who is special needs came up to me and wrapped his little arms around my head. Then he proceeded to kiss my cheek and he just smiled and said "Miss Gattthhhrightttt you're so prettyyyyy." I melted. Here was this child so innocent so sincere like just being so sweet and just the biggest heart. He seriously melted my heart.

Definitely made my entire day, heck my week. I needed that. Children are seriously the biggest gift from God... I love each and every one of them. 

Homework and Studying the rest of the night ;))

Saturday, October 2, 2010

sometimes history repeats itself...

sometimes ;)
Nothing but an empty page
Breathing in an open space
Captured by your moment's grace again
There's so much I left behind
Even more that waits in time
Everything's so undefined
I'm standing on the edge of my fear
And I see it clear

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just want to be the best woman I can be
Breathe, it's my resolution

Living life without a plan
Finding solace where I stand
And learning how to love again
And all I want is something real
That I can feel

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best woman I can be

My resolution


John Tucker Must Die on

John Tucker Must Die on
I know that this is God given. That this happiness, this weight lifted from my shoulders this calm peaceful feeling is from him. It's weird when you think God has walked out of your life, and you are doing it on your own, but after all he has been there the entire time. The silent whisper, the ever so powerful hug, the shoulder to cry on. With every inch of me I know that God hears my cries and catches my tears, well if I had any. But like I just previously stated... this happiness is God given. Happiness comes from God.

God gave me the strength to walk away. To show me that in this life, I am going to be okay. I am going to be just fine. To show me what I really want out of life, and who I want that life with. I need a man of God that will lift me up. Make me a better person, make me want more out of life. You my friend, my once friend... did not do that for me. So it makes it easier. To know that I am one step closer in following God's will in my life. You were placed for a reason, we went through all we did for a reason. But that reason is done. I've never been more happy.

Happiness is weird, because you choose to be happy. It's a choice, but how many of us are truly happy? Truly satisfied...

I am.

With every inch. Every fiber in my body I am happy. Happy and excited for the life ahead of me.

Last night was filled with laughs. C, B, and me all dressed to the nines go out for a girls night. Looking oh so beautiful. Cheese cake factory was the first stop. Where food had not hit my body in about three days, but I sure downed the biggest grilled cheese known to man. With not a plate, but a bucket, like legit classy bucket of golden crisp french fries. Mmm... delish.

The rest of the night was full of fun and eventful memories, that you guessed it are still funny today.
I love my friends and I genuinely love my life. 

Genuinely <3

Friday, October 1, 2010

... sometimes lyrics are better than your own words.

An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
...I can't hate you anymore.

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

I can't hate you anymore.