Monday, April 26, 2010

wish it were SUNdayyy.

well... yet another monday. manic monday, wish it was sunday kinda attitude.
i rolled out of bed which usually does not happen for me. i'm THAT girl that has to get ready. that doesn't make me snobby, i just feel better and work better when i feel as though i look up to par. weird theory, but totally works for the mind. trusttt.
i've also come up with another new theory. a purse changes your entireee attitude. i got this new off the shoulder kind of trendy/safari purse from urban outfitters. im semi obsessed. and it makes me feel good... in a not so weird way. don't judge, i do that enough to myself.
class was class. i am one presentation/speech, one chapel, a final, and timeline to go before i have a break for at least a week. (lucky, NOT!) did i mention the timeline has 186 items? is that normal. yea, my thoughts EXACTLY.
i worked tonight. spilled a drink on a man. what would i call that? successful night. oh and pretty sure a 40 year old hit on me. and a drunk country man was yaking my ear off about the storm last night.
oh, the storm. slept like a baby right on through. (just a little side note)

i've came to the conclusion i am destined to be alone. singular. solo. uno. you know ALONE.
i am genetically prone to live my life with just me, myself, and i... and maybe a dog or two. preferably a boxer.
you see, boys were never my "thing." it never came easy for me. i fell in "love" in high school... thought he was the one sort of thing. well he turned out to be a WINNER. sikeee. that's another story for another time... but i fell for my best friend currently in flori-duhhh. we have the whole friendship for three years, talk about anything, he/she falls for each other type of story. but wrong place wrong time. then BAM! his one trip to virginia and i knew, this is the ONE. but is there really a ONE? one person, for all time and eternity. that i could never love again. maybe i just choose to love this one person, and no one else. maybe i'm content.
well for whatever reason it was gone in a blink of an eye. no explanation. no nothing.
i was A L O N E !
and i'm stillll.. alone. but i know that no boy can make me happy. make me, well me. i don't need a boy, BUT it's a good plus. i think lying at night is the worst. but it's been two weeks. soooo... i'm slowly but surely getting used to it.
it's just harddd.. it's that feeling of throw up and naesaeu where your inside wanna come out of your mouth. but i guess it's life, just a phase i would like to skip...
at least now. i go from one disappointment to the next.
but L I F E could be worse... trust me, i'm aware. i'm thankful for all the blessings in my life. i owe it all to my heavenly father. the one person i can turn to besides my loving family...

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