Monday, September 27, 2010

the only person i can really blame here is me. i fell for your LIES. i fell for it all.
you've brought nothing to me but misery. i believed you, i stuck up for you. i let you back in.
into my life where i was HAPPY. without you; HAPPY without YOU!
you bring nothing good out of me.
tears, sadness, anger.
what have you done to me?
what have i done to myself? i've made this mistake once.
i blame myself.
you're sly, you're clever... i give you that.
i give you points where they are deserved.
but we'll never be what we set out to be. and i'm okay.
i'm numb but OKAY. i kept you a secret. i thought it could work. i thought i was doing the right thing.
so why am i sitting here at 3 am playing the night over and over in my head?
why did you lie, for a lie, to cover up a lie, to explain a lie, to get around a LIE?
key word... LIE.
but again, i blame myself.
for trusting you. for letting you back in.
for believing that people change, for believing you loved me.
you don't know what LOVE is. you don't even love yourself.
but maybe you do, because i don't know you.
you can blame and manipulate and call me crazy.
you made me this way.
i caught you. there's no talking yourself out of this one.
we're through.
i HOPE i never see you again.
i hope you know you embarrassed me, heck you embarrassed yourself.
keep living a life. hiding behind something. pretending to be something your not.
she'll see the real you. the fake you.
tell her how you held me crying that you loved me.
tell her everything. look her in her eyes like you did me. TELL HER.
lie to her some more. she'll believe you, you're good.
but you aren't worth anything. you're dead to me.
i'm numb.
you had me in the palm of your hand.
and again, i blame myself.

it needed to happen, i needed this to.
i hope she knows what she has gotten herself into.
a self conscious tag along wanna be.
and he called us all crazy, he called us all insane. he'll do it to you too sweetie.
give it time.
you're nothing without me. you're a nobody.
you're pathetic and the thought of you makes me cringe.
self less, heart less.
but i blame myself.

you threw four years down the drain.
i guess this weekend should have meant something to us.
why? because it was epic.
because it was ironic.
karma babe, karma.

look her in her eyes and tell her you love her, i feel sorry for her... because i was once her.
i believed you.

this might be erased by morning, but i just told my secret.
my secret was you....

i'm gone.... forever.

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