six months TOO late.

it's official... i'm writing MTV and telling them to make me my own reality show. i know other people really might say they need one but i SURE DO.

as i've clearly stated before the boy thing, just doesn't happen for me. and i'm fine with that, for now at least. i've been from heartbreak to heartbreak with literally no time to catch my own breath. i'm the girl that likes what i can't have, but then when i have it... i actually love it. i'm currently going through a break up.. and i won't get sappy i'll just leave it at that. a break up.

so i know this guy (lets call him ryan)

ryan has it all going for him... he's good looking, athletic, total opposite of me when it comes to personality (which i love) and he's successful/educated... you know at least the top ten qualities in someone i would want to marry. he's a gem. heck, a frickin gem stone. maybe pushing diamond.

ryan calls me up about a month ago, i think nothing of it. we're friends. and ryan confesses his love for me. literally. out of no where. tells me he can see himself marrying me, like i'm the one. AGAIN with the one business? like, al right. let's say i do actually maybe have an attraction to "ryan" (which i don't anymore, simply just friends) this is about the time in the conversation where i wanted to say, "WHEREEEE was this A YEARRR AGOOO???" when i was practically head over heels, his and hers, truly deeply infatuated with you. oh that's right, i was nothing to you then... so a year later you figure calling me up and confessing your love makes it all better. yea no it doesn't. i still remember the countless times staring at my phone, and the number of girls i saw you with. yea still fresh in the mind. the countless tears i cried over you, yuck.

lets say i would consider this, that maybe it flashed in my mind... it's just when it comes down to it "maybe you're not 'boyfriend' material.." HA. who am i kidding.. whoever ends up with you is one lucky girl. but my heart belongs to someone else. funny how life works huh? it sure gives me a chuckle or two. great guy, even better friend. just a year too late... and you can't sit and think well what if... because in the end i have no regrets. i'm straight up. straight narrow.. and go after what i want. i get screwed over that way, but hey.. like i said no regrets. luckily for me i'm in love with my best friend who has been in my life for three years now. and who is now currently my ex. yea, life sure is HILARIOUS. i'm just waiting for the day i'll laugh about this break up... like i currently am laughing about "ryan."

but i guess in the end as cliche as it is. you don't know what you have until it's gone.

at least i'm still crossing my fingers that my current ex sees it that way... "when i wish upon a star, right?"

RIGHT.

enough of that.. today was an off day. but i did go into work. a simple little night, but i'm exhausted.

oh and little side note: some woman at my school sunday morning got held to gun point. let's talk about safe. we have security here. probably more than needed, probably taken out of our tuition money to pay them. most exceed 90 years. maybe pushing 100. they are old. and friendly? YOU WISH. grouchy little men. they walk around like the "STUFF" because they have that SEU SECURITY BADGE. give me a break you sit in a hut 24-7 and when you decide to hatch out... you ride around two by two in your golf cart. you ain't foolin' anyone. and the fact that some 20 some year old male held a woman to gun point and made him take her to an atm... well. two thumbs way up for security. we have cameras EVERYWHERE, and you didn't see that? and you also didn't see that it was happening right out front of your hut. WAKE UP.

they have tightened up security tonight, shocking? NO. because they should. about time i saw some action from the hut. i'm impressed. keep up the good work seu.