This semester has been nothing but amazing. This past weekend we celebrated fall as best as we could. Florida has been tempting us with cooler weather and colder winds. Pumpkin Carving, pizza, and friends was literally all us five girls needed to have a good time. I have met the most amazing people in my life, and ironically we are all going through similar situations in life. It's funny how God places people in your life... for a reason. My friends have all been a blessing to me; whether their here... or Virginia, Idaho, Texas, or Utah. My friends are my life... and literally make me a better person. A happier person :)

This semester has seriously been a blessing in disguise. I've never been happier. Never been more free, more care free, more me. Back to me. I am so happy. And I mean it. We ended up going to Celebration on Saturday. Celebration is this place in Orlando; city or something that is exactly like the Step Ford Wives movie. Literally! The place is adorable. They had vendors everywhere selling anything you could imagine for the month of October. There was a live little band playing oldies, carriage rides... pretty much the works. Then the leaves fell. of course all of us made our way to the front. Past the little kids where the little paper cut out leaves shot out at us. It was honestly so much fun! I felt like a little kid again, even though I was ten feet taller than all the little kids behind me. To end the most perfect night we went to Krispy Kreme. Where the HOT sign was on! They literally melt in your mouth; and if you have not had a Krispy Kreme HOT donut... you do NOT know what you are missing. It is literally heaven in your mouth... delish.

Fake paper leaves. Adorable right?

As good as it gets in the Sunshine State!

Change can be defined as making something different, or a transformation.
CHANGE. Such a big deal, big word, big step... c.h.a.n.g.e.
A person can say they've change or that they have changed. But what makes it believable.
Actions speak louder than words.
What made you change, why do you want to change, if this never happened would you have changed?
Don't change for me, change for yourself. Change for the better.
Change for your happiness and no one else's. Change is scary, and new.
Do you think you're up for the challenge, do you think you can change. It takes time.
It all takes time. Time is all we got. But maybe it's too late.. and there is no more time.
What then? What to do? Will you still change?

Whatever you do, do it for you... and for God... and your happiness.
Time will tell... but I am happy. Content and happy.
God is good every day. Showing his glory to me more and more every day.

Love. Happiness. Truth. I will find it... one day, it's out there.

Life has been going amazing.
I have never been so happy in my life. I can't stop smiling, and it is a real pure smile.
A lot of different things have been happening in my life, and I am loving every second of it.
The weather in Florida has been perfect. I really have been missing Virginia like crazy.
I want the fall leaves and cold weather. The wind has been absolutely amazing. I've been rockin' the long sleeves, socks, and skirts. LOVEit :)
I love that the weather is changing.
Fall, Fall, Fall... leaves, pumpkins, just everything.

This weekend will be perfect.
I am so happy, and so blessed for everything in my life.
Everything has changed and I love it.
I could never be this happy. I have gotten to this point and I am never going back.
Meditating, scripture, and music have kept me sane.
Three powerful things.
Three important things in life.

Oh, and I got a j-o-b.
I'll be making the lovely people of Lakeland's burritos at Chipotle... let's be serious it's kinda cute.
HA :)

You know that moment. When everything falls into place.

Where you aren't just having one of those days, but everything starts to make sense.

Today was one of those days.

Last night I slept. Through the entire night. No irruptions. Pure bliss.

It's as if my mind is clear, or blank.. or just a clean slate. New beginning. 

I have no worries for once in my life and that in itself is a blessing.

I go to a kindergarten class on Mondays, where the children are coming from deprived and broken families. It breaks my heart, but it makes me love these children even more. Today, this little boy who is special needs came up to me and wrapped his little arms around my head. Then he proceeded to kiss my cheek and he just smiled and said "Miss Gattthhhrightttt you're so prettyyyyy." I melted. Here was this child so innocent so sincere like just being so sweet and just the biggest heart. He seriously melted my heart.

Definitely made my entire day, heck my week. I needed that. Children are seriously the biggest gift from God... I love each and every one of them. 

Homework and Studying the rest of the night ;))

sometimes history repeats itself...




sometimes ;)

Nothing but an empty page
Breathing in an open space
Captured by your moment's grace again
There's so much I left behind
Even more that waits in time
Everything's so undefined
I'm standing on the edge of my fear
And I see it clear

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just want to be the best woman I can be
Breathe, it's my resolution

Living life without a plan
Finding solace where I stand
And learning how to love again
And all I want is something real
That I can feel

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best woman I can be

My resolution




:))

John Tucker Must Die on Zuguide.com

John Tucker Must Die on Zuguide.com

I know that this is God given. That this happiness, this weight lifted from my shoulders this calm peaceful feeling is from him. It's weird when you think God has walked out of your life, and you are doing it on your own, but after all he has been there the entire time. The silent whisper, the ever so powerful hug, the shoulder to cry on. With every inch of me I know that God hears my cries and catches my tears, well if I had any. But like I just previously stated... this happiness is God given. Happiness comes from God.

God gave me the strength to walk away. To show me that in this life, I am going to be okay. I am going to be just fine. To show me what I really want out of life, and who I want that life with. I need a man of God that will lift me up. Make me a better person, make me want more out of life. You my friend, my once friend... did not do that for me. So it makes it easier. To know that I am one step closer in following God's will in my life. You were placed for a reason, we went through all we did for a reason. But that reason is done. I've never been more happy.

Happiness is weird, because you choose to be happy. It's a choice, but how many of us are truly happy? Truly satisfied...

I am.

With every inch. Every fiber in my body I am happy. Happy and excited for the life ahead of me.

Last night was filled with laughs. C, B, and me all dressed to the nines go out for a girls night. Looking oh so beautiful. Cheese cake factory was the first stop. Where food had not hit my body in about three days, but I sure downed the biggest grilled cheese known to man. With not a plate, but a bucket, like legit classy bucket of golden crisp french fries. Mmm... delish.

The rest of the night was full of fun and eventful memories, that you guessed it are still funny today.

I love my friends and I genuinely love my life. 

Genuinely <3

... sometimes lyrics are better than your own words.

An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
...I can't hate you anymore.

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

I can't hate you anymore.

the only person i can really blame here is me. i fell for your LIES. i fell for it all.
you've brought nothing to me but misery. i believed you, i stuck up for you. i let you back in.
into my life where i was HAPPY. without you; HAPPY without YOU!
you bring nothing good out of me.
tears, sadness, anger.
what have you done to me?
what have i done to myself? i've made this mistake once.
i blame myself.
you're sly, you're clever... i give you that.
i give you points where they are deserved.
but we'll never be what we set out to be. and i'm okay.
i'm numb but OKAY. i kept you a secret. i thought it could work. i thought i was doing the right thing.
so why am i sitting here at 3 am playing the night over and over in my head?
why did you lie, for a lie, to cover up a lie, to explain a lie, to get around a LIE?
key word... LIE.
but again, i blame myself.
for trusting you. for letting you back in.
for believing that people change, for believing you loved me.
you don't know what LOVE is. you don't even love yourself.
but maybe you do, because i don't know you.
you can blame and manipulate and call me crazy.
you made me this way.
i caught you. there's no talking yourself out of this one.
we're through.
i HOPE i never see you again.
i hope you know you embarrassed me, heck you embarrassed yourself.
keep living a life. hiding behind something. pretending to be something your not.
she'll see the real you. the fake you.
tell her how you held me crying that you loved me.
tell her everything. look her in her eyes like you did me. TELL HER.
lie to her some more. she'll believe you, you're good.
but you aren't worth anything. you're dead to me.
DEAD.
i'm numb.
you had me in the palm of your hand.
and again, i blame myself.

it needed to happen, i needed this to.
i hope she knows what she has gotten herself into.
a self conscious tag along wanna be.
and he called us all crazy, he called us all insane. he'll do it to you too sweetie.
give it time.
you're nothing without me. you're a nobody.
you're pathetic and the thought of you makes me cringe.
self less, heart less.
but i blame myself.

you threw four years down the drain.
i guess this weekend should have meant something to us.
why? because it was epic.
because it was ironic.
karma babe, karma.

look her in her eyes and tell her you love her, i feel sorry for her... because i was once her.
i believed you.

this might be erased by morning, but i just told my secret.
my secret was you....

i'm gone.... forever.

so i am OBSESSED with the sock trend.

OBSESSED.

(might be an understatement)

people tend to stare... look at my legs/feet

this just proves i stand out.

why fit in? why wear what you're wearing.

i'm bold. i like to STAND out.

and this trend is SUPER cute.

i feel like i have bought every color sock known to man to wear.

does this make me weird? yes.

or just fashionable, whichever.

i love fashion.

I LOVE FALL!

i wish i were home in VA.

FLORIDA is killing me with the lame gross hot humid weather.

i want leaves and the smell and breeze of fall.

FAVORITE time of the year.

all time FAVORITE!

i'm starting to dress like its fall.

even if it is blazing here.

on top of my game... you think?

yessirrrr

ALWAYS

rockin' it before others

not afraid to stand out. not afraid of stares.

i LOVE them.

;))

If I could have planned my life out. THIS would not have been it.

If I could have seen myself here my senior year of high school. I would have laughed and thought...

UNREAL.

But in no sense am I complaining. I am so satisfied. So content in my life.

So completely blessed.

Being dependent on someone for every touch, every thought, every emotion sometimes becomes addicting. That addiction ends and leaves you breathless and you're left alone. Or you think you're alone, but you know that still voice... that silent quite whistle in the corner. You know him... you've heard his voice, and at one time you put something above him and his glory. You put so much effort into someone other than him that you forgot the little things. You forgot how much he did for you. How much he sacrificed and gave up. His unconditional love will never be matched. No human being, no flesh of skin will ever be what he is.. what he will always be. Lord and Savior... Jesus Christ. 

So many times we get caught up in the worldly life. I am guilty of this too. But I find that I stop to think of all the "good" things that God has created. All the good things we have. How everything good came from God. How every good feeling, every happy, laugh, smile and giggle is good. It's all good... and it all is given by the grace of God. How can one even begin to question what is good. How is something good? Look around, look at your life. IT IS GOOD.

What more could you truly ask for... "it is good"

I look back on the last six months... the last roller coaster emotional uproar of something I thought would never end. But was it good? Was it God given for me to feel the hurt? God knows I had the heart and I had the strength to get right back up again. But all he really wanted was for his child to come back to him... to yearn for him. To make him my number one priority. To rely on him and ONLY him.

I love who God has molded me into. I love who I have become, and I will never let anyone take that away from me.

I love the life I live and everyone in it. I went from six months ago thinking I would never feel love again to getting on my hands and knees praying and seeking God. To feel his love... and only his love.

His love is all I need. All that I ever need. I will never let that slip my mind again...

God's LOVE. 

life is chaotic. BUT what is most important is to SLOW down.

and appreciate all that is around you. the sun, the sky, the birds... and more importantly just LIFE.

friends, laughter, love, and smiles.

i've tried this in my own life.

stopping to just have a conversation. just have a laugh. just ENJOY life.

without stress, without worry, without a care in the world.

it's PERFECT.

life is p e r f e c t.

you stop worrying and you start living.

in virginia there are signs of fall.

in florida... well NOT so much.

i want hay, and pumpkins, and candy corn. the works.

october is so festive and fun.

halloween. i'm going to be minnie. 

this weekend was perfect.

anna maria island. paradise.

PARADISE.

beach. sun. friends. fun. laughing. late nights. and early mornings.

another week... manic monday.

let the good times roll... literally.

lifeHAPPENS.

it would be easy to sit here. complain, whine, and just blame someone.
but i am better then those actions. BETTER!
God has his hand in everything. his heart in everything.
he KNOWS all. i am aware.
my faith is really being tested. to an extreme.
i have found that sometimes i stray away from God when something bad happens.
the past few days i have done the TOTAL opposite.
c o m p l e t e 180.
God is number one. not on the back burner.
first and foremost.
if that is good. then everything will fall into place. one way or the other.
life happens.
but God is on my side.
always and f o r e v e r!
number one in my mind, heart, and soul.
when i feel that i am incapable of doing something i look to him.
my one and only.
the king of all kings. the creator of all. my father in heaven.
i would be NOTHING without him.
i am the girl i am today because of him and his blessings.


prayer still in my h e a r t.
i will not lose faith and not lose hope.
God doesn't give up on me so i won't give up on him and his plan.

d a d d y <3
i l o v e y o u

did i mention i LOVEmyLIFE.

<3

...prayer in my heart. ALWAYS (daddy)

be faithful. have HOPE. God knows all!!

floriDUH.. sunSHINE state!

another week.
here in sunny florida. or is it? because i am pretty sure that two hurricanes are headed this way.
the breeze feels nice. however, i could do without the rain.
my hair frizzes. CUT tomorrow. a little shorter. bangs. the whole deal.
21 credits is al ready kicking my butt. i find myself al ready stressed.
but i breathe. and pray. and stay calm.
life is amazing. i am SO happy. so content. and just happy focusing on myself.
and my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
so here at SEU they offer us to go to Israel for a semester, however i don't want to be another semester behind.
BUT today they informed us the first 35 students to pay and sign up WILL go this summer.
five weeks. WHERE JESUS walked. everywhere. the feeling the emotion. the spirit.
I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.
i knew right then and there. i HAVE to go. i am MEANT to go.
i will DO anything. i am praying like crazy.
it won't leave my mind. I HAVE TO GO. what an experience.
like once in a lifetime.
just can't even imagine. can't bring it to words.
INCREDIBLE.
pray.pray.pray.pray.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY!!!!!
as far as everything else in life. loving life.
working out. classes. homework. great talks. good laughs.
just AMAZING!
SEU has such a spirit here on campus that you can't describe.
i feel the spirit everywhere.
i love the woman i am becoming each and every day.
i am molding into who i will be. as a wife. a mother. and woman to expand Heavenly Father's kingdom.
my life begins today.

this is what i choose.
this is my life.
one day. one BEAUTIFUL day at a time.
tomorrow will be even better than today.
it just HAS to be.


Heavenly Father has a plan. and i am learning to not plan out my life... and just wait for his plan.

classes. chaos. running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
it feels so amazing to be back. i am so fortunate to have parents who pay for me to go to such a wonderful and uplifting school. i am truly blessed and i owe it all to my mommy and daddy.
without them i would not be here. getting the experience of a lifetime.
day two of class today. added another. now will consist of four consecutive classes.
plus chapel. oh and 6 am p90x... and my night class with meesa.
exhausted on tuesday and thursdays might be an understatement.
monday wednesday and friday will be a breeze.
it's hard going all summer with no work to now all this school work.
overwhelming. boggles my mind at times.
year and a half left of classes.
this semester is going to be amazing.
new friends. new people. new everything.
it's so refreshing and so exciting at the same time.
the weekend is approaching.
eeeKKKkk. can't wait to get crazy with the girls.
LOVEit. and life. of course.

"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
truUUEE.

chapel has been amazing. i feel God so close. i am so in tuned with the spirit.
such a GREAT feel here on campus.
tonight should be interesting....

should be.

the past few days have gone by slow. BUT FAST. at the same time.

i left virginia, with tears in my eyes and bags packed to the fullest. 

the flight was delayed. for two hours. hurricane season is not something i enjoy about florida.

AWESOME.

after awaiting a long time, i finally arrived in orlando, florida.

took the drive to lakeland, which took 45 minutes.

got to lakeland, with no way to check in my room here at school.

i was homeless. luckily i have friends. reuniting and being with people i haven't seen all summer is well...

PERFECT! i love my friends. i love laughing. i love staying up talking about EVERYTHING

that happened this summer. catching up is so fun. but it's like none of us ever left.

we picked up right where we LEFT.

i moved in the following day. in pouring down rain. finally got settled. 

FINALLY feels like home. 

again... PERFECT.

i am trying to not be stressed with school and everything. 

it's coming so fast. 8 am class tomorrow. and just SO much to get figured out.

ahhhHH... but life is amaZIINGGG.

i have been bouncing from group to group... people to people. just meeting, mingling, and loving life.

WHO wouldn't? honestlyyyy.

enjoying every second of my life.

God is going to work in amazing ways this semester. i FEEL it.

i woke up at 6 am this morning. p90x. 

stretching and yoga in the mix. with the great view of an entire soccer team.

who could complain. not me and my chinky eyes at 6 am thats for sure.

BUT it gave me the energy and spirit i needed for today.

i have been figuring out school. money. a job. life. and everything all today.

still getting settled.

LOVE my room mates. LOVE even more that they are two of my best friends.

oh, and whoever was wondering girl world is finally at peace.

how you ask.... simple. I AM A BETTER PERSON.

i prayed for the strength and God gave it to me. 

i aspire to be like Christ each and every day... and i feel better with the strength God has given me.

smiles. laughs. no DRAMA. 

tonight hunger and thirst. i hunger to be closer to Heavenly Father.

i thirst for it alllll. that relationship with Heavenly Father. that closeness. 

if i have HIM that is all i need. 

tomorrow is class. another semester. soaking everything up.

livin' day by day. 

i don't want to leave.

i'm not ready.

i feel like this is the millionth time i'm leaving.

i'm a senior this year. in college.

well plus a semester.

but still senior.

i've been in college for four years.

how insane. how crazy.

i am so over moving back and forth.

i can't wait for the day that i am not so scattered. 

leaving stuff here and there.

at my home.

i'll miss it. everything.

my family, my friends, just my home.

i'll miss my bed. my room. how i still get scared in my own room.

i'll miss waking up to birds chirping. to the sun beaming in on my face. waking me up.

i'll miss laying by my pool. listening to music. drinking a cherry limeade. 

ahhh... home.

my mom, my dad, my brother. my family.

missing you al ready.

more than you know or will ever realize.

i won't get much sleep tonight. a lot on my mind.

just not ready to leave. i hate goodbyes.

why does this one seem different then all the rest.

i'll be seeing you virginia... it was fun for these last few months.

i'm glad i can always call you home.

so i kind of have an obsession with trunks.
i have two from my great grand parents.
they hold things from my childhood that i want to pass down to my children. (girls). i guess you could call them my hope chests. or my memory chests.
well i got a NEW one. obsessed.
is an understatement. my dad got it for me.
it came with stickers all over it.
PARIS. HONG KONG. NEW YORK.
just random places where of course i WANT to go.
hope to go.
now i WANT to add my stickers from places i've been.
something i can pass down to my children. i find it exciting.
of course i have been to a lot of places, so i am hoping i can get stickers from online.
eeeekkkKK!!!
it is an obsession.
this trunk is different.
this trunk holds everything up to now.
from middle school. to high school. to college. to NOW.
filled with old memories. old friends. letters. EVERYTHING.
ballerina costumes. cheering uniforms. A LOT.
and it all fit.
ALL my printed pictures. all my accomplishments.
all happy memories.
some sad. but MOST good memories.
it was so fun to put everything in there and see the ending.
it was FUN.
it was like re-living all those years.
some embarrassing. some obsessions. heartaches. puppy love.
ahhh... it's just funny the things i kept.
now it is all in one chest.
i now have three chests.
should make moving A LOT more easy.

when the time comes out.
did i mention i can't even lift it now.
yea, hahaha A LOT of memories.
i can't to be old and look back on my life.
no regrets.
:)